Discovering my submissive side and meeting my Master

my journey into slavery begins as most with a realization of my submissive nature.  This came about actually through a chat room.  i met a man online who liked to hang out in the “Chat Chamber Bondage Talk” chat room.  i went in there to show Him that i could “hang” with Him and nothing intimidated me. The talks were interesting and stimulating (and i don’t mean that in a cyber sex type of way).  i listened and met a lot of really nice people that were into the lifestyle online or real time.  Ironically the man that i initially entered the room with turned out to be submissive. 

i was in a relationship with an alcoholic and when he passed out, i got online.  i ended the relationship and decided to take care of “me” and to find a strong man that i could respect.  i have always thought that i was born in the wrong century and would be better suited to the antebellum times when women served their men.  i put an ad on bondage.com on New Years Eve, 1999 and vowed not to settle for less that what i needed and deserved. 

The first encounter was short and weird. He wanted me to dress like a maid and squirt me with a water gun. While this is intriguing, i knew i desired more.  Also, i made Him a nervous wreck and i knew i could walk all over Him.  The next lasted approximately 4 months.  He introduced me to nipple clamps, a crop and thought He would introduce me to forced prostitution.  He would change rules and try to trip me up so that He could punish me.  He had no respect for me and pretty much told me so.  i won’t go into all the details, but He went from a kind and strong Dominate male to a disgusting sick pig and i lost all respect for Him.  A relationship is nothing without mutual respect.

Moving on to my Master.  By the time i met Cuffsmaster, i didn’t trust Him and based our relationship upon my past experience.  i met Him thinking, ok this is it, if this one turns out to be a psychopath than this is not the lifestyle for me.  While we clicked from the start, i still wasn’t sure how much i trusted Him.  i kept waiting for Him to change the rules on me or to trick me.  i also went back and forth about this lifestyle and whether this was what i really wanted.  He was patient, but everyone has their breaking point.  In September of 1999 i decided that i could not handle this type of relationship and it was just too hard. i left a note and was through!  He had done nothing to bring me to this point, i was just running scared of my own feelings.

Of course, you know that’s not the end of this story.  We kept in touch, but He was not going to make any effort until He knew that i was sure about my commitment and not going to run.  He always accused me of going to left field and Him having to drag me back home.  New Years Eve 2000 – the new millennium was a turning point in my life.  i committed myself totally and completely to Cuffsmaster and never ran again.  Oh, i still take an occasional trip out to left field, but i don’t climb the fence and bolt anymore.